Sometimes there's a desire that runs deep inside of me that I'm not quite sure what to do with. Ever since I can remember music has been a huge part of my life. From walking around the house singing any song I could think of to playing in bands to leading worship. Even though I have felt God's call towards a Social Work degree, some days I cannot shake the feeling of music being a part of my future. I have no clue to what extent, but I question whether it is something other than worship on Sunday mornings. Not that it would be something "greater" than that, just something different...though maybe something similar. I have no clue.

We are creatures of an artistic God and through us flows his creativity. When we stop creating, we become destructive and sinful. We can only fulfill our purpose if we are willing to escape the doldrums of every day life and use the nature of God to birth his spirit; and let's be honest, music from the heart in direction towards God is a calling of his spirit.

Be a Tool

Q - What do I do well?

A - Avoid saying positive things about myself out of fear of sounding full of myself.

Anyone who has known me for a time knows that I have a problem with seeing the good things I do. For the longest time while being a youth leader at Church of the Lakes I didn't really see it as something I was "good" at. It's just where I ended up and what I ended up doing. I didn't feel like somehow there was something "good" about how I did things. Leading music, I knew I felt good about it. When someone would either thank me afterwards or say they enjoyed worship, I felt awkward. Most people would see this as a validation of what they were doing, I felt it was attention (maybe recognition is a better word) that I did not deserve. In a way, I still feel that answer is valid. We do not deserve the recognition for what we do, but all glory belongs to God.

I felt the same way when it came to teaching Sunday School for the Post-High School/College age. I did not feel as though I was an adequate teacher. And as a leader on retreats, I felt I had nothing really to offer. But after visiting a few times with the youth either to stop by to say "Hi" on a Wednesday night or driving up to a retreat and seeing how excited some were to see me, how great of a tie there was between us, I have realized something - at the risk of sounding prideful, I was good at these things. Though it was more than that. I allowed God to make me good at those things. Whether I realized it or not, I opened myself up to what he wanted me to do and where he wanted me to be. I didn't question. I just did what was in front of me with the heart God asked me to.

I feel sometimes as though I have lost that. Since starting school, I have been focused on the idea of the future and what will come and how do I get there. I've let the "FUTURE" of how to follow Jesus get in the way of the "NOW" of following Jesus. And I feel like I am probably not alone in this notion. We are creatures of planning. But it was when I tried to abandon future planning that I felt closest to God. Telling someone in a role above you that they do not need to worry so much because God will work things out and being a calming voice. That was the "now" of following Jesus. Picking up a man in a wheel chair when he dropped his groceries and giving him a ride home every week. That was the "now" of following Jesus. Figuring out ways to help kids get to retreats...the "now" of following Jesus.

The amazing part of the "now" of following Jesus is that whether or not you think you are good at what you are doing... it is GOOD. What Jesus has called us to do is inherently good and as long as we follow God's will, we can't be bad at it. So, we thank him for the love we get to show others. The GOOD that we get to show the world like a light from a city on a hill, the example for the world.

Let's humbly remember that God gives us abilities according to his will.

*disclaimer* - not an exercise in pride, but a reminder that God makes the people who follow his way GOOD. Not because we are good at what we do, but because his way is, in itself, good.

ps - sorry for being scatterbrained.

simplicity

It amazes me that the title or subject is always the first field to enter text. As if somehow a title could be made up before the body. That in any way a single sentence or phrase should be able to define what you allow to flow through your writing. Not even just define what you write, but to encase it. Placing parameters on your thoughts.

Who could deny a title having its place? It labels a work; it helps us to decide whether we want to invest our time to read what has been said. It allows us to make a snap judgement on whether or not we think that what will follow will be worth our attention or something of utter uselessness. To allow us to place an emotion within ourselves before we even get to the context. Pre-conceiving meanings before even truly knowing the subject matter.

We just people by their titles all the time. Labeling is just easier than getting to know the context of a person. People take on the titles of : parent, farmer, president, and enemy. Without questioning the title given, we embrace and let the emotion of that title carry our opinion to what we have been taught to think it means; whether through experience, social conditioning, or innate intuition. Are we willing to look past the titles of not only works, but of the titles given to people? While it is of our nature to judgement by what we perceive by the outward appearance of others, can we strive to view the worth of others as God does?

When it comes down to it, titles may be liberating in a way of finding what we are interested in. But at what cost? We reject the notion that we could learn from what is different. There is only one title in which we need to view people "made in the image of God." And that is a simple, but beautiful title.